This Is Why I Don't Sleep Well At Night

As I have written before, there are plenty of reasons why I don't sleep well at night. The main reason is the small strip of bed that I get to sleep on. This of course is a direct cause of one little soon-to-be 5-year old using my back for unconscious kickboxing training during the night. However, neither of these nightly occurring events could hold a candle to what happened last night.

So in order to keep this from being a recurring event, I am going to put this out there to clear my head and hopefully keep such silly thoughts to rest.

Last night I dreamt my wife was pregnant. Yes, I know, that in itself is scary enough but it gets worse.

Last night my wife gave birth...

...to five snakes.

Not just any snakes, mind you, but those King Cobra things that can raise their heads up and look at you with that evil-looking grin on their faces. Now imagine waking up seeing five of those devilish things looking back at you.

I am getting the heebie-jeebies just writing this.

Somewhere during this dream there was a giant python that I figured out was supposed to signify me. Not because of the obvious reference to my manliness, but due to the fact that the python was the father of those five little slithering serpents.

Ok, now that python had better have been me.

I woke with a start and swearing I felt one of those snakes weaving around my feet AFTER I was awake. Ugh! I am not a snake person.

Never mind the fact that I find out later that Leslie's mother also had a dream that Leslie was pregnant - with a boy. Never mind the fact that Julia stated out of the blue that there is a baby in her mommy's belly. No, it's me that has the dream about Leslie giving birth to five freaking cobras for crying out loud.

Maybe I need to sleep on the coach for awhile. For the sake of my sanity as well as my back.