The Kellie Pickler Saga

I cannot stand Kellie Pickler. She is a ditzy blonde who is a decent singer and has surgically enhanced breasts. I do not have a "thing" for her in any way shape or form.

I need for the WonderWife to reread the above statement.

The Kellie Pickler Saga began about 2 months ago, when I wrote a post about Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman and their respective videos about who they are currently sleeping with.

The videos by themselves were hilarious, but in my comments I received a link from ~michael at Smoke & Mirrors showing Kimmel's breakdown of Miss Teen South Carolina's complete slaughtering of her Q&A segment during the Miss Teen USA Competition.

Those of you who are familiar with the flighty antics of a certain ex-American Idol may know where I am going with this. Those of you who aren't, this is where Ms. Pickler comes in. Never one to let a good comment lie, I emailed ~m with the following:

And less we forget, the American Idol ditz Kellie Pickler.

...followed by the following video.




Shortly thereafter, I received an email back stating the following:

Yeah, that's pretty bad.
But I have to tell you, I'm secretly in love with Kellie Pickler so it really doesn't matter what she says. That's just me, though.
I'm such a sucker for incredible looking blondes . . . dumb or not.
I will say that my wife has roughly 4 million more brain cells than Pickler but . . . :o)

Now this is important for what is to follow. Having already stating what I think of her, I respond with the following:

Pickler is something, isn't she? The wife is watching
me so I had better just leave it at that. LoL.

Now the problem is this, upon reading this email - the WonderWife has this ludicrous idea that I have the "hots" for Kellie Pickler. This has been an ongoing argument between us, to the point that if I say anything remotely close to her name - pickles for example - I will get something like,
"Oh, I bet you wish you had Kellie Pickler on your cheeseburger."

Jeez.

Apparently when I said she was "something" in my email, this in turn, confessed my undying love for the woman and that I am setting up shrines for her in the basement so that I can worship her. Why in the world would I purposely put something incriminating in an email THAT I KNOW SHE IS WATCHING ME WRITE?

I'm sorry, I do like the women in my life to have an IQ that breaks single digits. That is why I married the WonderWife - an awesome mind (college grad thank you very much) to go along with her gorgeous looks. And we make damn cute kids. And she knows what a piccolo is.





So, I would like to state this here and now. I absolutely have NO physical attraction to Kellie Pickler whatsoever. None. Nada. Zilch.

That Jeff Foxworthy guy however...