You may remember some time ago about my accident in which a deer tried to play chicken with my car. I won the duel, although it caused over $6,000 in damages to my poor little Vibe. Knowing this, you would think that deer would be tops on my most hated animal list - even above Jasper, the devil cat.
Well you would be right. For now.
There is however, a new kid on the block that is quickly gaining my utter hatred. These feathered fiends that I would have thought having 15 freaking cats would have taken care of. These flying imps that feel that since we have 5 acres of farmland that it's open season on the worm population.
And you know what happens when birds eat too much don't you?
Now upon seeing this, you might think that I would have parked under a tree, next to a building or underneath some power line that these damn things like to sit upon and let loose whenever they feel like it.
Now while I was in the vicinity of a tree and a building, I was not close enough to either to constitute the barrage of crap I received.
"Maybe you were just in the flight path." the father-in-law said.
Oh sure, I can see how that works:
"Mission Control, this is Robin 246 coming in from the northwest at Grimm's Field. Requesting permission to land."
"Roger that. You have a full load?"
"Affirmative."
"Roger. Make sure you empty all access before landing. That red Vibe is a pretty good waypoint. Proceed to landing on runway 24V upon unloading."
"10-4. Commencing unloading procedure now."
Damn birds. I swear a few of them had to be sick.
"Maybe they were homing pigeons." the wonderwife said.
Har Har honey. You are just a bundle of laughs. Did you even see what they did to your van?
And that is just the back. These pictures don't really do the workmanship that these creatures possessed. Their skill was uncanny, these vehicles had crap in places there was no possible way there should have been. Inside the freaking door handle? C'mon that is just plain wrong.
Maybe I need to invest in one of those Adam West Cat Launchers.
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5 comments:
My dad used to hold war councils about Blue Jays. Seriously. He saw them as the absolute root of all evil.
oh, my.
oh, my.
Where do you guys live again? Are these pigeons or a floack of geese?
I think this might be the technical definition of a shit storm.
Whatever it was, they are out to get you people. Don't want to sound paranoid, but you definitely were targeted. Keep the kid inside. Who knows what they'll do to her.
I'm getting a "The Birds" vibe. Eeeek! Eeeek! Eeeek!
This is war, my friend. And those cats need to be put on notice. A little less kitty chow = more hungry and more likely to do their job.
Good luck, my friend. Fight the good fight!
Thank God the birds weren't eating blueberries. Nasty.
I love the "catlauncher". How cool is that? Funnyass post, buddy.
~m
Rest assured. The Guru is aware of your plight and he will solve the problem
for you shortly
that is a freaking lot of crap on your cars! Are you SURE you aint parked under a tree???? If it was me I'd be sitting by the car with a slug gun and shoot the buggers!
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