Not Picky But Basic

About 14 months ago, the wonderful wife posted about a disagreement we had between the differences of Little Debbie Marshmallow Treats and Rice Krispies Treats. She challenged my "basicness" due to the fact that while both treats were the same, I still preferred the Rice Krispies brand better. I tried explaining myself to her, but it was no avail. So now, 14 months later I will explain myself to you - my humble and unjudging readers.

I am a basic person.

I am a meat and potatoes guy. I don't need mushrooms, grilled onions or blue cheese on or with my steak thank you. And keep the sour cream away from my baked potato too. But you can sprinkle some bacon on it. Bacon = Basic.

I like eggs fried or boiled. I like them warm. I do not like them cold in salads and I hate deviled eggs. Devil = Not Basic.

I like macaroni, potatoes and chicken. I like salad. I do not like macaroni, potato or chicken salad. The combination of these basic things makes them...a complicated salad - which I do not like.

There should be no onions or peppers eaten before lunch. They do not belong in breakfast foods. Omelets should consist of eggs, cheese and other basic meats of my choosing.

I like tomato ketchup and spaghetti sauce but not tomatoes.

I appreciate the basicness of Corn Flakes, Cheerios and Life cereal. I do not need them tarnished with fruit flavors, raisons, marshmallows, or honey nut clusters.

I like my pizza with cheese and nothing but. If I am feeling risky, I may add pepperoni. If I am intoxicated, I may add sausage.

I like my fries straight and not curly. Curse you Arby's for getting rid of your straight fries!

I like breath mints, but despise any chocolate covered candy mints.

I like pears right off the tree but not sliced up in a can. Conversely, I do not like peaches right off the tree but I do like them sliced up in a can. This is called the Polar Opposite Law of Basicness, and is allowed and accepted.

I like Coke in a can, but not in a bottle. I like Pepsi in a bottle but not in a can. However, if canned Pepsi is placed in a glass with ice, then its all good. Oh, and I hate RC cola in all forms. And anything diet.

I like oranges, but not tangerines or tangelos. Never switch them on me. I will hurt you.

I like apples. I like them sliced, I like them straight from a tree. I like them with caramel and nuts. This is the man's fruit. Do not put any of that cream crap on there. And do not switch them with those grape flavored variety either. That is just messing with nature.

Watermelon is great. Cantaloupe is not. Not even close actually.

I like plain potato chips. Not barbeque. Not sour cream & onion. Not salt & vinegar. And plain pork rinds rule.

The bologna and cheese on my sandwiches must be present in equal amounts. If you use a thick slice of bologna, two slices of cheese are necessary. A thin slice of bologna, one slice of cheese will suffice. I call this sandwich equality.

I do not like mayonaise, but I do like sandwiches with Spin Blend salad dressing. Ok, I admit it. That one is a bit weird. I blame my upbringing.

Finally, I like Rice Krispies. I do not like marshmallows. Therefore, I like Rice Krispies Treats more so than the Little Debbie Marshmallow Treats. Simple and basic.