Oh Baby You Know What I Like

I admit I am not the most experienced man in the world when it comes to bedroom activities. Don't get me wrong, the wife and I enjoy a very active sex life, but I am not one to have a wide repertoire of different positions or in-the-moment situations in my arsenal.

But every once in awhile a moment occurs when you think to yourself, "Mmmm, yeah this is gonna be good."

I had that moment last night.

As I sat soaking in the bathtub after a long day of doing absolutely nothing, I was jarred from my aquatic slumber by a quick succession of knocks followed by the door opening a crack...

"Hey, can I come in?" the wonderful wife asks. I grunt the affirmative.

I slowly begin to sink back into my water wonderland, fully expecting tons of apologies about how she had to go #2 and that she couldn't use the downstairs bathroom because her father/mother/daughter had set up camp inside it and wouldn't be done for some time.

Only I didn't get that.

In fact, as I slowly opened one eye, I got the surprise of my wonderful wife taking off her shirt. I was able to dismiss this relatively quickly due to the fact that the laundry shoot is located in this bathroom as well. However, she wasn't done there.

I do not know whether she was seductively making her way towards me or if it was my overactive sex hormones taking control again, but I suddenly started visualizing the scene from "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" where the world was introduced to Phoebe Cates'...assets.

Those that have seen the movie -- you know.

I sit up with a start and a grin as my woman slinks over to the edge of the tub. The temperature in the room escalates to an unmeasurable amount as she slowly reaches back to unclasp her bountiful treasure to my awaiting booty hungry hands.

"Mmmmm, yeah this gonna be good"

This woman of my dreams, the mother of my child, this wonderful wife of mine slowly and seductively sits on the edge of the tub...

...and turns her back towards me.

I see what she wants. She loves having her back kissed and I am the one she loves to get the kissing from. I am about to rise to begin my lips-on-skin assault when I hear her ask something. Surely I didn't hear her correctly, not now. But she asks again...

"Could you pop that zit on my back? It is driving me nuts."

I had never experienced immediate and complete bodily deflation before this night. It is not a very pleasant feeling.

Never mind the fact that she asked me to pop a pimple when I am in the tub...with water...which makes it an almost impossibility to pop anything using my waterlogged hands.

Never mind the fact that she has the smoothest skin I have ever seen and everytime she feels she has one - there is never one to be found.

No, what we are talking about is taking one of the most erotic situations that I have had in many, many years and then having been hit with something so far out of left field you are left sitting there with a dumbass look on your face.

But make no mistake, I will get her. She doesn't know when and she doesn't know where, but I will get her...

Because I have plenty of zits on my back for her to pop.