I Say Potato, You Say Don't Be An Ass

My wife likes to torment me with the fact that when we go to bed, I am not long for the conscious world once my head hits the pillow. Here lies a major difference between my wife and I, and on a broader spectrum, most women and men.

If sex isn't an option, men like to sleep.

Women like to use the time in bed to talk over the events of the day, things that are troubling them, plans for the upcoming morning and the like. This is all well and good mind you, except for when they decepitively trap you.

For example, my wife would be discussing the latest American Idol contestants, all the while getting responses from me. Then she would lie still in the darkness, not uttering a word. No question was asked of me, was she finished with her conversation? One minute passes. Nothing. Two minutes. Shallow breathing but nothing else.

So sensing that our conversation has reached an end, I allow myself to drift off to sleepyland.

"It's obvious you don't care." she says moments later.

"Wha?" I stammer.

"You fell asleep on me again."

Women are wicked, evil creatures.

So the other morning, I gained a measure of revenge that quickly escalated into a heated debate that to this day we cannot agree on.

My wife is not a morning person, so being the jerk that I am, I wait until she has drifted back off to sleep before talking to her about some random piece of useless information. After the fifth time of me complaining about her falling asleep on me, she finally catches on.

"Katie is a white cat." I said.

"And grey." she mumbled, not falling for number six.

"She is most definately not grey - she is black." I retort.

And so the argument began. That was over a week ago. Over the color of our cat.

So in order to end the silly controversy I offer up to you the following pieces of evidence:

Now the cat on the right is a grey cat, which I think we would all agree. On the left is Katie, our black and white cat. I shall let you the readers end this once and for all.

If you decide that Katie is black and white, then I shall accept Leslie's apologies without too much gloating and leave it at that. If you decide that Katie is grey and white, then I will have reexamine my views on the world and my place in it. That and get my eyes checked.