Troubled Mind

Lately I have going through a wide myriad of emotions - so if what I am writing seems a little disjointed, please forgive me. Maybe after I get all of the words out I will put them in some kind of order - or maybe some passerby will see this and consider it some kind of Picasso of the written language.

Ha! A passerby? Here? Excuse me while I have an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

I'll be honest, I am troubled.

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life - odds are they were big ones - that you honestly thought you were doing something that was beneficial for the group as a whole but in hindsight this important moment - this important decision, only really benefitted you. Not that the other people would ever tell you that they regretted the decision, but you know that they probably would have been alot better off if they hadn't listened to you in the first place.

Hell I don't even know if I am making sense here.

If you read the early posts of the WonderWife's blog, you would see that we, as a family, were very happy living in Wheeling. The grocery store was within walking distance, there were plenty of fun events and activities on the Waterfront and the WonderSis had a plethora of activities and groups that were helping her develop into a very open and outgoing person. Sure, the house was small for the five of us and we didn't have much land and we had to climb 50,000 steps to get to our vehicles, but in the end, it seemed about right.

The only issue we had was that I was driving 2+ hours into work and having to stay over between shifts at my fathers' house. This caused me to only see my family only 3-4 days a week, something I really despised having to do.

When I made the passing mention of finding a house closer to where I work so that I could come home everyday, the notion was surprisingly well received - not only from the WonderWife and WonderSis, but from the in-laws as well who expressed an interest in moving along with us.

So all of us packed up and moved. To a place that is only hour away from where I work. Conversely, my mother-in-laws nice little five minute commute was stretched in ninety minutes.

Now I worry that it was the wrong choice. Almost two years have passed and the house in Wheeling has yet to sell causing us to make every single penny. Due to this necessary penny pinching, I am once again staying at my fathers on work days to save money on fuel. This causes me more strain, as it is the same situation I had when we lived in Wheeling - only now things are alot less comfortable financially.

Now I know the WonderWife or her parents will deny that moving was a bad idea, but I fear that they are just saying this to save my feelings. That somewhere deep inside of them, they are wishing they lived back in the comforts of that little 2-bedroom house on the hillside - complete with 54 gazillion steps - instead of where we are now.

I have always had a habit of thinking the worst in situations and I certainly hope this is one of those times. But I just cannot shake the feeling that there is some regret out there that I ever came up with the idea up upgrading to a bigger house with more land and 57 cats.

Hopefully in time things will clear up and I can feel at ease with my decision. But for now...

I am troubled.

My Love In Song

When I think of the love that the WonderWife and I share, I cannot help but think of the following songs. Their words describe my feelings more than I ever could.

So what does it all mean?

Honey, when you are standing next to me, I wouldn't runaway with anyone else but you. You were born to be my baby and come what may, I can't help falling in love with you.

Frazzled

It may just be the 16 cups of coffee that I have downed in the three hours I have been at work, but today I have really been stressing out. This is somewhat new for me, as I normally let the WonderWife handle all the stress related freak outs while I play the cool, level-headed rock of granite that doesn't let these trivial issues bother him.

But today, it is hitting me - HARD.

The reason? The birthday party of the WonderSis is coming up in a week and I don't even have the party area close to being ready. There is so much to be done before the guests arrive and I unfortunately don't think there is enough time for me to get them all finished. Dirt needs to be transported, land needs to be raised, grass needs to be planted, lawns need mowed, and lawn mowers need fixed.

I know - Grimm, you have a week. Surely you have enough time to get everything done.

Eh, I am not so sure - and quit calling me Shirley... (yep, a classic)

Between going out of town for work, going out of town for another birthday party, and having a wonderful dentist appointment - my time at the homestead is going to very limited this week and as I sit here at work I feel as though what little hair I have on the top of my head will be rubbed off as I continuously wring my hands over it.

If I set up a schedule and plan out every exact moment of my free time - then maybe I could put a dent into it. That free time is few and far between and if the sky opens up even just a little - I am screwed.

So I am frazzled, stressed and a little freaked about the upcoming week. At least if I don't post this week, I would have a genuine legitimate excuse - unlike last week.

Well I am going to listen to Tim Janis now, a fantastic musician who really has managed to ease the stress level tremendously. Below is a song from one of his many PBS broadcasts - you can truly close your eyes and get lost in his music.

Comment Follow-Up

A belated Happy Fathers Day to all of you Dads out there.

I was reading over my comments from a few weeks ago and two of them popped out at me for further discussion.

First off is my friend ~michael from Smoke & Mirrors, who commented on this post about me struggling to find time to write. The following is the first part of his comment:

Grimm? Shave now and then okay? Babies hate stubble. :o) As far as writing goes, just phucking do it. I say go and buy a journal and title it, "Book of Lucy" and go from there. Remember every little thing about your little girl. As you and I know, they grow much too quickly.

Now for a little back story here. You see, ~michael has a fantastic singing voice - somewhat of a mix of Barry Manilow and Michael McDonald. He blessed our family with a collection of Christmas songs he had done as a special gift to his family. The WonderWife was especially taken by his pipes and I secretly feared that she may be trying to convince him to make a CD for her.

That was until the next part of the comment.

Listen to "Butterfly Kisses" for some inspiration okay?

Please tell me he did not just say that. Those of you who are regular readers of the blog of the WonderWife know what I am talking about. You just do not mention ANY Bob Carlisle song anywhere in the remote universe without risking the wrath of one crazy female Grimm.

~michael, please forgive me if you receive any decapitated animals in your mail, car or bed. This is merely an act of a deranged soul caused by a trigger of the mention of that song. And while she has maintained her composure around the house, I fear for your safety as I have seen her working on her lastest sock monkey - and it has a very uncanny appearance.

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Next up is Chris H. from Diet Coke Rocks, who decided to let me have it after writing this post. Apparently, Chris has a wonderful long-term memory and reminded me of some long forgotten post where I declared that I would get in shape.

I could say "If ya got off ya arse and lost some weight it would be easier"... but I won't! I'm too nice for that... but I do remember you saying a LONG TIME AGO that you were going to lose weight and get fitter for your family's sake... you are a heart attack waiting to happen Mr Grimm.... no time like the present to start sorting it out... and the play ground... now stop whining like a girl and get out there! SORRY I am harsh eh? Oh and start eating better. lose that weight. If I can you can too. Think of your girls and WonderWife... they want yo around for a LONG LONG TIME. You can hate me now.

Well Chris, I would hate you if you weren't so damn right.

For 15 years, I used to keep in shape over the summer by playing in as many softball games as I could find. When we lived in Northeast Ohio, these were easy to find as I had many a friend that would help satisfy my softball addiction. For the last 18 months however, it has been difficult finding a league to play in - or finding a team willing to take on someone that they do not know.

I know what you are thinking - quit it with the excuses.

I have enough land and enough work on that land to keep me busy and working hard for a long, long time. It seems like everyday there are fields to mow, weeds to whack and dirt to move - and you would think that this activity would help shed some pounds - and it has to an extent.

But not near like I did when I played ball. At the end of a long day playing, my uniform would be as heavy with sweat like a suit of armor. Of course the smell associated with that particular suit of armor would be so horrendous, I would dissappear if anyone ever placed an Odor Eater on me.

Alas, I have taken Chris' concerning words to heart and I will make a genuine effort to right my unhealthy ship and to maintain a healthy lifestyle. The first step will be to cut out my usual McDonalds intake of four meals a week - that in itself should keep my heart pumping for a few more years.

I heard Burger King is healthier anyway.

KIDDING!

Oh The Humanity!

Four freaking days.

It didn't take long for my pseudo-NaBloPoMo project to go down in flames like the Hindenberg. I could blame this on being out of town this weekend as I stayed at my fathers house to save on gas. I could blame this on the fact that I may have gotten a total of five hours of sleep the entire weekend because the bed at my fathers house is like laying on cement with the pillows like moss covered boulders.

I could blame it on these things - but I won't.

The truth is I started a post for Friday about three times and each time hit the delete button because it was nothing more than incoherant gibberish that need not see the light of day.

Of course the WonderWife states afterward that my incoherant gibberish is some of the funniest stuff on my blog.

Gee thanks honey, I think.

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Participant             Kung-Fu Panda   Don't Mess With Zohan   Difference
Actual                    $60.23 Mill             $38.53 Mill

Grimm                     $62.25 Mill             $37.12 Mill    $3.43 Mill
Ryan the Rookie              $60 Mill                $30 Mill    $8.76 Mill
Laura the Co-Worker          $75 Mill                $30 Mill   $23.30 Mill
Big Willie                   $35 Mill                $40 Mill   $26.70 Mill
Jen of A2eatwrite                           At least $50 Mill    Incomplete

I am in no way gloating because that is the closet I have EVER come to getting the actual results. But then again, since I have never come that close before I never had a chance to gloat. Must...fight...temptation...

I also noticed most of my readers do not live in the United States which makes it pretty freaking hard to guess the US market then. Nonetheless, always being a fan of a fun game, I continue on with this weekend.

Weekend Openers
Your mission: Predict the opening weekend (Fri-Sun) totals for this week's releases. The deadline is Friday night at Midnight EST.

_
Grimm's Predictions: The Incredible Hulk $68.85 Mill / The Happening $27.49 Mill

Again I invite you to join me in this fun little contest. If nothing else you get some linky love from yours truly - and isn't that what we all want anyway?

Weekend Openers

I love movies. So much in fact that I have often entertained visions of grandeur by opening up my own movie website with all of the trimmings. A site where I could update everyone on just what are the facts and just what are the rumors floating around. A site that would update everyone on the amount of cashflow from each film so that you can see for yourself just which films flopped (see Speed Racer).

Alas, that is just a dream for now. So I must torture you by forcing you to join me in this contest in futility that I plan on keeping if I ever decide to become a box office bozo.

Weekend Openers
Your mission: Predict the opening weekend (Fri-Sun) totals for this week's releases. The deadline is Friday night at Midnight EST.

Last week:
Sex and the City - $56.84 million
The Strangers - $20.99 million

Kung-Fu Panda
Dreamworks has a pretty strong track record when it comes to animated features and with the voice talents of such stars as Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen and Jackie Chan - this film is looking like it could make some serious coinage. Most kids will be out of school by this weekend and this looks to be the only animated film in theaters at this time, so what could go wrong? Well, there still are some pretty powerful players in theaters that also appeal to children including Iron Man, Indiana Jones and The Chronicles of Narnia - all of which were in the top five in earnings last weekend. Oh and lest we forget...

Grimm's Prediction: $62.25 Mill



You Don't Mess With The Zohan
When I first saw the trailers for this movie, I have to admit - I felt a little queezy. While I am not sure if my tastes have declined or if the commercials continuously barraged me to the point of brainwashing, but this movie has slowly grown own me. Adam Sandler is back, this time as a Mossad agent who decides to fake his own death in order to follow his one passion - hairstyling. What is next, a hockey player joining the PGA tour? Of course, Sandler's little buddy Rob Schnieder will be along, as well as the always awesome John Turturro so this one has the chances of being pretty freaking funny.

Grimm's Prediction: $37.12 Mill

Please leave your prediction in the comments and I shall post everyone's totals and their results on Monday.

I'm Huge With The Felines

I have just spent the last two hours sitting completely still with a can of salmon trying to entice our numerous mommy cats into a cat carrier full of the fish crud.

Do you hear me? Two freaking hours.

Why? It's fixing time. The time of year where we shell out close to $600 total getting all of these mommy cats fixed only to have them leave town within the next six months.

I told the WonderWife to just let me catch the daddy cat that comes around from down the road and this little problem would be solved - but nooooooo! We are kind to felines or as she calls them - whores.

Tell that to the one I caught in the carrier and who nearly ripped my finger off in the process. Let us just say I am no longer on her list of favorite humans right now. She was like those zombies in 28 Days Later in how vicious she wanted out. To put it bluntly - she was pissed.

But I got the deed done. Early tomorrow morning we will be travelling to the vet to drop off our furry friends to deny them any further baby making privileges. Then it will be two down and five more to go.

Oh how I cannot wait to see the final bill. Think I could get away with setting of kettle at the local supermarket and ask for donations?